Drop It Like It’s Hot

 I admire all you mamas that didn’t have Walmart pick up, precooked rotisserie chicken, rice in a bag (the kind that you heat up for 90 seconds!), and Netflix/Disney +. Is it just me, or are we all thinking, “how in the world did they survive without all these luxuries?!”

Yes I said it. Luxuries. We have so many things our mamas and grandmama’s didn’t have and yet, we still struggle. I know parenting is hard. No matter what time era you do it in, but why is parenting so hard when we have so many ways to make life simpler? Are we just making it hard? Or is it really that hard.

I know social media has taken a huge toll on our generation. In a time when we can connect with anyone, at any moment, are we taking the time to connect with those in our own home? Are we ever truly disconnected from the world? 

I know I’m guilty of videoing or taking pictures of moments when they are happening. And I’m not saying that’s a bad thing to do. Those moments are so sweet to watch and look back on. But, those moments, are memories too. And for them to be engrained, I want to fully experience them. I don’t always want to be looking at my child through a camera lense. I want to look at her eyes through my eyes. I want her to see my face and my expressions and not just a rectangle blocking her view of mama. 

 I wonder what effects it will have on our children, to be in such a tech savvy world. Will they be glued to their phones? Will they know how to cherish moments? Will they choose to eat dinner and leave their phones elsewhere? Will they make life harder for themselves by always trying to keep up with “The Jones”? I don’t have the answers to these questions, but what I do know is we have the responsibility to teach them the good and bad of technology. 

Phones are great for so many reasons. For me, they help me keep track of important dates, remind me of appointments, keep me in touch with those who live far away, and might I add, FaceTime with loved ones, while in a pandemic 😷. SO. MUCH. GOOD. 

But there’s also some not so good... I’ve compared my baby to people on social media. Made myself feel like a failure as a parent because my child wasn’t sleeping through the night and other platforms said they should be. Compared my body and self image to filtered and posed images online. Felt left out seeing others get together while I was stuck home. And maybe you’re thinking, “girl, get it together. Social media shouldn’t make you feel any of those things.” And if you’re thinking that - great! But those were very real thoughts for me. I think it’s great when you can separate social media from real life, but sometimes it’s hard to do. 

But don’t we want our kids to see us reaching for books and bibles, watering plants, and working in the dirt, doing laundry and making meals? Because, those little things you might not think much about, are the important things. And before you start judging me, yes, I typed this on my phone, while nursing my child 😂 (time and place people!). There’s a time and place for all things. Phones are inevitable. We are going to use them (because they are so convenient!), but we don’t want them to dictate our lives. We don’t want them to create negative feelings within us. We don’t want them to help us spend money we don’t have. We don’t want them to be glued to our hands at all times.

And don’t hear me wrong, being on your phone isn’t the bad part. You might work from your phone, or use your phone to get work done.  Maybe you need to see some encouragement from a social media account to remind you that you aren’t alone. The bad part is when you can’t put it down. You know the Bible verse , “For the love of money is the root to all evil?”(1 Timothy 6:10). Money itself isn’t evil, but if you let it take control over you, you will serve money and not God. (Insert “your phone” in place of money and BOOM).

Be conscious of how much your behind it and what your doing on it. How it makes you feel and what it makes you think. If things start to take a negative turn, put it down, walk away, get some fresh air - don’t let it rule you. Don’t let it control you. Don’t let it create happiness in cyberspace when you can create happiness at home. You don’t need social media to prove that your happy, in fact, a lot of times, it creates unhappiness in a perfectly happy situation, because you start comparing. Don’t compare. Just don’t. I have unfollowed a lot of people and companies over the years because they just don’t fill my cup, they empty it. Don’t let people empty your cup.

And while I’m here, let me add that nothing brings me more joy than seeing my friends and their babies grow, explore, play, and have fun. And, I think we all try to do the best we can when navigating in a world consumed by technology. But if it starts claiming your life, if it starts claiming your happiness - change your habits. Put it in your pocket, or on your nightstand and enjoy the day. Enjoy your family. Enjoy life! 

That is all. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.