Finding Less of Me

As a stay at home mom, days can get lonely. Which I realize is ironic since you have a little one attached to you most of the day. But it’s true. After a while, you miss having adult conversation, and you also start to feel like you’ve forgotten how. So, I was excited when I had the opportunity to meet a few moms at the park one morning, and I learned so much from these beautiful women. I learned that we each “mom” our own way. That everybody reads books, and everybody adapts to what works for them. We have all tried ALL the swaddles to get baby to sleep, some breastfeed, some bottle feed, some rock to sleep, some don’t, some have schedules, and some let baby lead, some co-sleep, others crib sleep - but one thing we all had in common - we all love our babies. And when it comes down to it - isn’t that all that really matters? I found out quickly these women were my people. Women who were willing to crawl down into the trenches with me and speak truth. That motherhood is hard, a...

Written when Tink was 3 months... I was feeding my daughter the other day when she popped off, looked up at me and offered the biggest toothless grin and gurgle. I melted. And then... I cried... happy tears. But they were also thankful and grateful tears. Thankful that God is allowing me each day with my daughter. And grateful that he allowed me to have a child, because we didn’t always think that was possible.  The devil was at work before we ever started trying. We weren’t sure we were going to be able to have kids. And, as a woman who felt she was destined to be a mom, that was a hard pill to swallow. But, we tried anyways. There are so many people that are in the same waters we traveled, different boats, but same water, and their stories go much differently. People so close and dear to me have not been able to see their children grow in their bellies or in this world as long as they would’ve chosen. But I want you to know, God is still faithful, even when we are be...

About 3 weeks ago, my normally happy little started acting different. She was fighting nighttime sleep, fighting naps, and fussing. As new parents, Justin and I went back and forth.... do you think it’s gas? When was the last time she did “business”? Is she hungry? Sleepy? Swaddle? No swaddle? Too hot? Too cold? Sick? Was it her 4 month shots? Will that affect her like this? Is it a leap? A sleep regression? A growth spurt?  In case you don’t know, growth spurts are the things that turn your sweet angelic baby into a ravenous sleep deprived little monster.  Unless, of course, you were blessed with a unicorn child and in that case - congratulations! You have no idea how lucky you are!  But this... this was no growth spurt... this was teething.    low and behold, a little jagged white line appeared in her bottom gums.  And in case you were wondering, teething is the thing that turns your happy-go-lucky baby into a hungry, but can’t eat; sleepy, b...