Finding Less of Me

I've had a lot laying on my heart lately about loving those who are sometimes hard to love. For instance, you have your friends who are easy to love and then you have your foes, which are a little harder to gush out love for. I'd like to say that I have no foes, but the truth is there has been many times when people have rubbed me the wrong way & I'm sure that people have felt the same way about me (because I'm brutally honest). But seriously, what happens when people treat you wrongfully, or you do something hurtful to them? How do you fix that? Well, in the Bible, it says.... "But love your enemies, & do good, & lend, expecting nothing in return, & your reward will be great, & you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful & the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful." Luke 6:35-36 WOW. What a home run. How hard is it to love the ungrateful? Pretty hard. But Jesus says we should do it anyways! Now,...

A few weeks ago, I went to a Bible study at a local church in Wilmington. An evangelist came to talk to us about how, we, as Christians, don't have to be forceful with sharing the Word of Christ. Now, this is a subject I've always struggled with, because as I live my life through Jesus, I don't always share it with everyone I meet. The reason I struggle is because I don't want to be forceful with the message. The whole point of accepting Christ into your life is to create a relationship with Him and to fall in love with Him. It is not supposed to be forced, it is supposed to feel natural. Like with any relationship, you should never tell people who to love or how to love them. Creating a relationship with Christ is a personal experience and a personal choice that should grow into a passionate love for Him. Now, I realize that my part in His ministry is to spread the good news and tell people who know or don't know how awesome He is. But I have always lived my life...

I have no idea what has gotten into me lately, but I'm a walking time bomb. Little things are worrying me to death and it's like I can't get them out of my head. It doesn't matter what they are.. they could be an exam, a fight, or an unclean room. I will sit and think about it for hours and just feel incredibly nervous and unsettled inside. I try to pray. I read my Bible. I go to church. I sing worship songs. I do everything I can think of to calm my spirit. But I haven't figured out why I "all of the sudden" have become such a nervous person. I seem to care more about what others think of me than what I think of myself. I worry if people will like me for who I am or if they will just think I'm weird and awkward (which I am at times). I realize I'm opening myself up to a whole new level of vulnerability, but in all honesty, I just want to find a way to be happy in the life I have. To not worry from day to day about simple, little things. I want to...

So, for those of you who don't know me, I'm Ashley. Twenty-one years old, learning I'm not invincible and also learning that life is complicated. I am so blessed to say that I am totally in love with God and learning that HIS way is the ONLY way. I find myself in everyday situations saying, "Ok God, I've got it. You made yourself clear. I'll do it your way!" And I am not ashamed to admit that I am not always the best judge of decisions for my life. The point of believing is to be humble and fearful of God. Trust me, I'll talk plenty more about my walk by/in/of faith in future blogs. But with my first blog, I really want you to get to know me. I just recently got engaged. I say recently even though it was in August, because it still feels so fresh (hey, thats like 4 months!). The words engaged, fiance, and marriage are all really new to me, even though my future husband and I have been talking about it for years. His name is Justin and he is everythin...