When Words Aren’t Enough

The other day I made a mistake and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Because like Paul says in Romans 5:3-4, “And not only that, but we also boast in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope.” So, here I am using my sin for some serious character building. It’s not fun facing trials, ailments, or making mistakes, but I can tell you from experience, it’s one sure way to build Christlike character in a believer. And I know I’m going to sin, even when I try my hardest not to. So, why not use my sin to glorify God?

I remember that day… I cried over my mistake and the hurt I had caused a friend, unintentionally. My husband comforted me and told me, “You don’t need to fix everything, babe. Sometimes you need to just chill and listen.”

Chill and listen. As an enneagram type two, this is one of the hardest things to hear. What is my purpose without helping? What is my purpose without stepping in even when I’m not asked to? What is my purpose without giving advice, repairing damage, helping friends? But then I went to scripture…

Proverbs 10:19 says, “When there are many words, sin is unavoidable, but the one who controls his lips is prudent.”

Now, I don’t know how savvy you are with words, but I immediately looked up the definition for prudent, just to make sure I understood the scripture correctly. Prudent means acting with or showing care and thought for the future.

All this time, I thought my advice, my words, and my thoughtful verbiage was doing good (and maybe it was part of the time), but this scripture says that sometimes no words or few words are better than a lot of words. I know we learn this lesson a lot in school, in work, in parenting… that quality is better over quantity. And according to scripture , this is also true for words. The quality of our words is more meaningful than the quantity of our words. 

When it comes to my words, I want to be the kind of person that tries to see God’s big picture. I want to think ahead to the future and show great care for how my words, in that moment, could affect God’s plan. I don’t want to be the type of person to say something, anything, just so I can feel like I did the right thing. Because sometimes the Lord calls us to be silent. Sometimes the Lord calls us to control our lips before they lead us into sin. 

And there’s more scripture that supports this idea of silence (or chill and listen as my husband calls it). Proverbs 17:27-28 “The one who has knowledge restrains his words, and one who keeps a cool head is a person of understanding. Even a fool is considered wise when he keeps silent — discerning, when he seals his lips.” Since even a fool could be considered wise for his silence, don’t you think a biblically wise person would be even more respected for his restraint in words? This verse literally speaks what my husband said to me. Don’t do the talking. Do the listening. Don’t get worked up. Just chill. 

My husband was right in his guidance. He may not have realized it, but he pointed me in the direction of Gods wisdom. I don’t need to fix everything. I don’t need to say all the things, all the time. I don’t have to say anything, in fact. Sometimes, just listening is support enough. Sometimes, stepping back from the situation would be what’s best for me (because I might still want to fix things that don’t need fixing). But the times when I do feel led to speak, I pray God would help me to choose my words wisely.