Finding Less of Me

Let’s talk about postpartum depression.. So you’ve had a baby, your life has been turned upside down in the best way possible. Your obsessed with your new little nugget and could stare at them all day, but then, they cry...  and cry, and cry,  and cry.  And you’re changing diaper after diaper, and getting spit up on, and clusterfeeding and when did you last shower? Put on make up? Put on real clothes? Got outside of the house?  I remember one of the first times I left the house. It was for my nieces birthday party. Almost 2 weeks after having my baby, my husband and I loaded up the car with our new bundle and headed to the park for the party. I acted like everything was fine, but inside all I felt was panic and anxiety. We got in the car after the party and I started crying. Justin asked what was wrong, and I said, “that was just really hard.” “What was?” He said. “Being around that many people,” I responded.  I didn’t recognize it then,...

As Aubreys half birthday is approaching, I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster these last few weeks - reminiscing on sweet newborn grunts, uncoordinated baby movements, so many tiny diapers, and learning a whole new normal with a brand new family member. All this reminiscing has brought me to write down Aubrey’s birth story - so I don’t forget how great our God is. So if you’re not into birth stories, I have plenty of other posts for you to read. But if you are - here goes... I felt like I was realistic when it came to having a baby. I knew I could make plans but, ultimately, it was up to God how everything was going to go down. I’m a planner at heart. All my friends know this. I thrive in having a well thought out plan. A plan so detailed that I have literally thought about everything that could go wrong and have created another plan in case of said disaster. With that said, my plan was to have a healthy baby and happy mama (epidural please!). I wanted lavender oils diffus...