Finding Less of Me

A flushed sensation ran through my body... my soul alive with fire (the good kind of fire). A fire that ignites you. A fire that exclaims to you "I don't want to be quiet, I don't want to stand still, and I want to scream from the top of a mountain!"  I felt the hair on my arm rise, my body baking in this fever of some sort.  My mind didn't even have to think, the words just poured from my lips. Things that I know to be true, but I wasn't speaking them.  And then... I submitted to this overwhelming sensation to cry because I knew it finally happened...  I wanted to cry because I wanted so desperately to get the words back that He uttered through my lips. I wanted Him to talk to me like He was able to talk to my friend. I wanted God's words cascading into my ears. As I was speaking, I couldn't even believe the things that were coming out of my mouth and how easy they just seeped through my lips. The words were so light and so encouraging... Encouragemen...

I have a confession to make - I haven't felt like myself lately. I tallied it up to saying that I was just exhausted because of my job in retail, but I'm starting to think that is just an excuse. I decided to look to see where I'm spending most of my time and I think I've found the problem. My time feels so limited when I'm not at work, but what is really true is that I don't spend my time doing anything worthwhile. I spend time on facebook, instagram, shopping for clothes, or things for the house, decorating the house or just being lazy. The time I've been spending with God has not been sufficient in my life. I wonder why I don't feel like myself, but I don't even know who I am at the moment. How can I know who I am... how can I possibly know who I am if I'm missing the biggest piece of my life? When I think about the things that have consumed me such as gossip, anger, impatience, hostility, I start to cringe, because that's not anything of...