In the Trenches

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As a stay at home mom, days can get lonely. Which I realize is ironic since you have a little one attached to you most of the day. But it’s true. After a while, you miss having adult conversation, and you also start to feel like you’ve forgotten how.

So, I was excited when I had the opportunity to meet a few moms at the park one morning, and I learned so much from these beautiful women. I learned that we each “mom” our own way. That everybody reads books, and everybody adapts to what works for them. We have all tried ALL the swaddles to get baby to sleep, some breastfeed, some bottle feed, some rock to sleep, some don’t, some have schedules, and some let baby lead, some co-sleep, others crib sleep - but one thing we all had in common - we all love our babies. And when it comes down to it - isn’t that all that really matters?

I found out quickly these women were my people. Women who were willing to crawl down into the trenches with me and speak truth. That motherhood is hard, and days can be long and exhausting, and you’ll reach walls where you have nothing left to give. That motherhood is both fulfilling and draining. That it gives you purpose and can also make you lose yourself temporarily. That it’s everything you wanted it to be and nothing like you planned. That’s it’s both beautiful and messy and some days can be complete chaos.  But you’ll have those moments when you look into those precious little baby blue eyes and whatever challenge you faced that day - it all just fades into the background. You forget how tired you are, you forget how your body aches, you forget how hard everything is and you just exist with that perfect little nugget.

I’m not saying you won’t remember your exhaustion after that moment, because you will. But this time, while it feels eternal now, is such a small time frame in that child’s (and your) life. It’s hard to imagine now that you will look back and miss these moments, because if I’m being completely honest, I feel like I’m in the thick of it. I am functioning on about 4-5 hours of sleep a night, naps aren’t happening much during the day, we have fussy days due to teething and growth spurts and some days I feel I spend the majority of the day just trying to get her to sleep only to have her wake up 15 minutes later. But while it is tiring now, one day she is going to be all grown up. One day she isn’t going to want to snuggle, or sleep in my arms, or need me to rock her to sleep, or just want to hear my voice, or feel my warmth. One day she won’t need me like she does now, and I know I will miss that. 

So for now, I will rock her. I will sing her favorite song. I will nurse her to sleep. I will let her sleep on my chest. I will give her my warmth. I will snuggle her close. I will give everything I have for as long as I can. I will continue to show up for her, because that is my best. 

But my best may not be your best. You may be everything opposite of me and let me assure you - that’s fine! I am not here to make you feel guilty about your way of “moming”, because at the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter what method of “moming” you use. What matters is that you show up everyday giving what you’ve got. Some days that might not be much, and that’s ok. Some days - getting out of bed may be a huge accomplishment for you. For me, putting on jeans AND make up is a big deal right now 😂. 

I want to encourage you that whether you are a working mom or a SAHM - find some ladies who will encourage you and lift you up. This could be finding a small bible study group, or finding a mentor, or maybe just finding some other moms to go to the park or beach with! Motherhood is a very humbling experience and there’s going to be days you want to tap out, but you don’t have to when you have support from grace-filled spiritual women. There’s no reason to walk through life without some strong ladies by your side who can help you through each season of life. I’m praying for you mama. Let’s walk this road together ✌🏼.

xo - A

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