Scarred, Broken, & Loved

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 Aubrey fell asleep at 4 p.m. AND I was able to lay her in her crib successfully without waking her up (this almost never happens 😆). And there I was faced with.... what do I do now? 


Most new moms know you really don’t know exactly how much time you have until your little wakes back up. So whatever you choose to do, is like REALLY IMPORTANT. Do you clean? Do you watch a Netflix show? Do you sleep? Or eat lunch? Because you just realized you haven’t eaten and it’s 4 p.m. 🤪. Or do you take a shower without having to sing “wheels on the bus” 10x in a row to keep your baby occupied while you shave your legs OR wash your hair? Because doing both is just not acceptable to your baby boss 🤣.


This time, I decided a shower was on the top of my list.


As the hot water beat across my tired and worn down body, I let my head fall. When I opened my eyes, I noticed the tattoo across the top of my foot.... “La Bella Vita”.... meaning “The Beautiful Life” in Italian. I’m not Italian, at least not that I know of, but my twenty-something-self thought it was beautiful and feminine and something to remind me that with each step I take in life, I needed to remember to find the beauty in it. 


One thing I didn’t have when I got this tattoo was the scar that now runs through it. (Quick story time: A few years back, Justin and I went kayaking in the ocean and when we were bringing the kayak back to shore, a wave caught the kayak and I didn’t move fast enough and the kayak and sand ran over my foot causing a permanent scar through “my beautiful life”. Ok, now back to the important stuff...)


As I stood in the shower staring at my scarred tattoo... I realized...


That is my life... It’s beautiful, but it’s also scarred. 


Scarred from heartbreak, let downs, missed opportunities, difficult choices, sickness, family members and friends who have passed too soon, and... my sin. 


This life we have on earth is not the “perfect life” God intended it to be. There’s pain, worry, fear, stress, tears, hurt, loss, and so much more that was not in Gods perfect design - because sin entered the world. 


I forget, too often, that when I worry, that’s my sin. When I stress, that’s my sin. When I am afraid, that’s my sin.


I forget to trust my Maker that knows my every thought before I even think it. 


In Isaiah 29:16, it says, “You have turned things around, as if the potter were the same as the clay. How can what is made say about its maker, “He didn’t make me”? How can what is formed say about the one who formed it, “He doesn’t understand what he’s doing”?”


All too often, I question God and worry that I can’t handle the tasks He’s given me. But God knows my scars and what I am capable of. He knows I am broken and flawed, and because I believe in the sacrifice He made on the cross, and repent of my sins... He chooses to build me back up, to heal my brokenness, to mend and patch me back together every time I fail Him.


We have no reason to worry, stress, fear, or let anger take our joy. We have no reason not to see the beauty in each place God leads us. 


No matter where you find yourself today, let me encourage you to give those scarred and broken pieces to our Savior. He is our Maker and He knows exactly how to heal our wounds and make us new again. He will revive your weary soul, He will make you like a well-watered garden. 


I love you friend and I’m praying for you! 


“The LORD will always lead you, satisfy you in a parched l and, and strengthen your bones. You will be like a watered garden and like a spring whose water never runs dry.”  Isaiah 58:11

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