A Confession From a New Mom

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No. I don’t have it together. Not all of it anyways. I haven’t figured out a nap schedule or really a schedule at all. If she seems hungry, I feed her. If she seems tired, we try to sleep. If she won’t sleep, we try to play. It’s really all hit or miss at this point. My favorite is when people ask me if I think she’s hungry again after she just ate an hour ago.... I literally have no idea. How are you supposed to know? I can’t read her mind. I’m a new mom, just fumbling my way through motherhood. 

The truth is - I thought It would all come naturally to me. I thought motherhood would be easy and I would just be tired from lack of sleep. But the truth is - it’s so much more than that. Yes your tired, but you’re also a different person after you have a child. You and your body have been through so much and you come out a stronger person, but I also think you lose part of yourself - a part you eternally give to your child.  You give the best parts of yourself to them. You give them your altruism. The part that eats cold leftovers with one hand and feeds them with the other. The part that takes showers instead of baths, because it takes less time, and they might need you. The part that spends a Sunday sermon nursing in the nursery, because they were hungry. The part that puts off going to the store, because they fell asleep first. The part that prays constantly for their faith, health, and happiness. And you know what? That’s okay. In fact, it’s amazing.

The biggest lesson I have learned, in this season, is that I am not enough. Yep, you read that right.... I AM NOT ENOUGH. 

But God is enough. Read that again. 

And with Him, I can do all things. Even motherhood. 

xo - A


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